EARLY YEARS OF EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

QUOTES FROM CHANAKYA NEETI on CHILD NURTURE                             

लालयेत् पंच वर्षाणि दश वर्षाणि ताडयेत् ।
प्राप्ते तु षोडशे वर्षे पुत्रं मित्रवदाचरेत् ॥

For first five years, one’s kid should be pampered (meaning treated with only love and affection), the next ten years he should be scolded (meaning must be disciplined) and once he turns sixteen he should be treated as a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.

Birth of a child gives meaningfulness to the life of mother. Entire family feels happy and gets busy around the new arrival. Elders bless child to grow up as great and competent human being to make family, society & nation proud.

We are reviewing the ways and means that will show how to put in efforts to accomplish this. The body, brain and behavior of the child will be synchronized properly for the future successful life.

Structure of Brain

Efficiency and development of brain is vitally important in the success and failure of a human being as brain plays very important role between mind (desires) and body (action).

At the time of birth, brain is not completely developed. Development of brain structure continues during entire lifetime. But the sizable important part of this process takes place in the childhood. All Neurons in brain are ready at the time of birth. But connections (synapses) between these neurons are built after birth. The structure of brain is shaped after shaping these complicated and long connections.

Two third structure of brain is ready during first three to four years after birth. During this period neurons are connected very rapidly. At the same time,cortex, limbic, reptile,  process of learning also takes place at faster pace than any other time of life. Emotional education is an important part of this learning. If child undergoes stressful situation during this stage, there is possibility that it might harm learning centers and intelligence of the brain. The brain research has proven that emotional education received during this period has lasting effects

Parts of Brain and Their Functions

Three main parts of brain are as follows:

•                   Cortex

•                   Limbic System

•                   Reptile Brain


Cortex - Learning, thinking and imagination are main functions of cortex. It can rationally think using logic and intelligence. The ability to use this is generally developed after 7 years of age. Thinking is the main function of cortex.

Limbic System – It is related to emotions. Emotions can be often mixed, complicated and many times paradoxical. They are rarely simple and straightforward. Structure of limbic system is complete till 5 years of age. During these first five years of childhood, love, affection, care and warmth of parents favorably affects the development of its structure. Many times in our life, we see that during struggle between thinking (logic) and emotions, mostly emotions overpower logic.

Reptile brain - 200 million years ago, during evolution, brain developed among reptiles as a body part. Humans inherited this brain from them.  The main function of this part is securing existence and reproduction. This part is completely developed at the time of birth. It is generally more effective than two other parts of brain. The basic instincts generated in this part always influence the emotions and logic in future.

Reptile brain that is active at the time of birth, limbic brain that develops during first 7 years after birth, and cortex that develops after 7 years - are the stages of brain structure. We should plan the nurturing efforts accordingly.

First Five Years of Love and Affection

Indian traditional culture is based on years of observation and logical deduction with the intuition of learned sages. The quotation from the Chanakya Neeti is cited above. Formula of education says that first five years child should be brought up adoringly. They should get ample love, care and appreciation during this period. While child is growing according to his or her tendencies, they should get love and only love from their parents. A child also gets micro vibrations with this love. These vibrations of love, affection, care & warmth create emotion of trust and security in the spirit of child. The brain connection process that creates correct emotions remains active through the unconditional love given mainly by parents and grandparents. Nothing but love has power to create the filling of security during these years.

Do not scold or beat children during this period or burden their minds with anything. Their Nervous System should not be overburdened. Do not disrespect their emotions. Do not neglect them. In every situation elders must deal with child understandingly without compromising own balance.  Earlier there used to be joint families. Today we have nuclear family (i.e. Husband, wife and two or one kid). In such family husband and wife both normally are bread winners. It is really very difficult to manage this (child’ demands) in their hectic life.

Even though it’s difficult, it is also inevitable from the perspective of nature. We can consider some options such as staying in joint family where grand-parents can look after child or one of the parents may sacrifice his/her career for child.

Day care is the next option. But can day care be substitute to unconditional love of parents & grand-parents? We need to find answer to this question.

Guidelines for Parenting

• The brain grows faster in the first five years than at any other time in your child’s life.
• Each new skill your child learns helps him develop more skills.
• Both genes and experience influence skill development.

(https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/signs-symptoms/developmental-milestones/skill-development-from-birth-to-age-5)

Children are mainly dependent on parents till the age of seven years. Children need parents’ proximity during this period. Thus this period is very effective and important for parents from the point of view of child’s development.

Children understand the language of emotions. They learn from your behavior towards them rather than what your words tell theYoung children consider their parents and teachers both as their ideals

The behavior of parents and teachers affects child in both positive and negative way and such effect can last for long term.

Stages of Growth (Till The Age of Seven)

Development of ego: The ego develops or mainly initiates taking shape from 2 to 7 years of age. ‘I am the center of the universe, All things are living’ – this feeling prevails more in this age group of childhood. These are the characteristics of child’s behavior during years of development. Curiosity to ask continuous questions is another characteristic.

Development of emotions: Awareness and development of subconscious mind takes place during these years. During first 6-7 years, emotional development of a child takes place normally in the following order - Happiness, sorrows, worries, proud, shame, friendship, jealousy and competition.

Social sense: Knowing mother, father and other people; sense of family and togetherness; beginning of discipline; friend circle; study – these stages of social development occur till 6-7 years of age. 

Emotional Personality of A Child

Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include three skills: emotional awareness; the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/emotional-intelligence)

Having parents with emotional intelligence are very beneficial to children. How parents treat child is important, but how they treat each other on emotional level is equally important in this regard. Child observes every minute thing happening in the family and he is eager to learn new things. Thus it has far- reaching impact on a child. Research has shown that couple, emotionally involved with each other proves to be more capable in nurturing child with love.

Kinds of Parenting

Parents behave with child in a different ways. Following are the kinds of parenting we generally see around us:

Completely neglecting emotions of child: Parents either completely neglect emotional upheaval of child or immediately get angry. They neither use emotional imbalance of child to get closer to him or her nor try to make child’s emotions healthy.

Indifferent: Parents understand the feeling of child. But they are indifferent to bring any change. They do not have tendency to help child to deal with his or her emotions in a different way. They try superficially to calm the child. Sometimes they try to bribe crying or angry child with candy or toy to calm him/her down.

Disrespect towards emotions of child: Such parents think opposing the emotional upheaval of child is a better option. Their solution to the problem is scolding or punishing child. They repress the emotions of child using harsh language - “shut up! Don’t you dare to utter single word!”

Teachers of emotion: Such parents see emotional upheaval of a child as an opportunity to improve him or her. They try to find root cause to the child’s trouble (For example, Are you angry because Raju hurt you?). Then they help child to find positive solution for his trouble (For example, why don’t you play some game alone for some time? After you calm down go and play with Raju again.)

Each and every person is unique and so are the styles of different parents.

Day-to-Day Care of Young Children’s Brains

Research on early brain development and school readiness suggests the following guidelines for the care of young children:

Ensure health, safety, and good nutrition: Seek regular prenatal care; breast feed if possible; make sure your child has regular check-ups and timely immunizations; safety-proof the places where children play; and use a car seat whenever your child is traveling in a car.

Develop a warm, caring relationship with children: Show them that you care deeply about them. Express joy in who they are. Help them to feel safe and secure.

Serve-and-return: Like a tennis match, how you respond to a child’s cues and clues makes a world of difference in their learning. Notice their rhythms and moods, even in the first days and weeks of life. Respond to children when they are upset as well as when they are happy. Try to understand what children are feeling, what they are telling you (in words or actions), and what they are trying to do. Hold and touch them; play with them in a way that lets you follow their lead. Move in when children want to play, and pull back when they seem to have had enough stimulation.

       
Recognize that each child is unique: Keep in mind that from birth, children have different temperaments, that they grow at their own pace, and that this pace varies from child to child. At the same time, have positive expectations about what children can do and hold on to the belief that every child can succeed.

Talk, read, and sing to children: Surround them with language. Maintain an ongoing conversation with them about what you and they are doing. Sing to them, play music, tell stories and read books. Ask toddlers and preschoolers to guess what will come next in a story. Play word games. Ask toddlers and preschoolers questions that require more than a yes or no answer, like “What do you think…?” Ask children to picture things that have happened in the past or might happen in the future. Provide reading and writing materials, including crayons and paper, books, magazines, and toys. These are key pre-reading experiences.

Encourage safe exploration and play: Give children opportunities to move around, explore and play (and be prepared to step in if they are at risk of hurting themselves or others). Help them to explore relationships as well. Arrange for children to spend time with children of their own age and of other ages and support their learning to solve the conflicts that inevitably arise.

Use discipline to teach: Talk to children about what they seem to be feeling and teach them words to describe those feelings. Make it clear that while you might not like the way they are behaving, you love them. Explain the rules and consequences of behavior so children can learn the “why’s” behind what you are asking them to do. Tell them what you want them to do, not just what you don’t want them to do. Point out how their behavior affects others.

Establish routines: Create routines and rituals for special times during the day like mealtime, nap time, and bedtime. Try to be predictable so the children know that they can count on you.

Become involved in child care and preschool: Keep in close touch with your children’s child care  Occasionally, especially during transitions, spend time with your children while they are being cared for by others. The caring relationships they form outside of the home are among the most important relationships they have.

Limit screen time: Limit the time children spend watching TV shows and videos as well as the type of shows they watch. For very young children, there is no research evidence suggesting TV helps children learn.

Take care of yourself: You can best care for young children when you are cared for as well. Learn to cope with your stressors so that you can help your child learn too. Your child’s well-being depends on your health and well-being.

(Source: Shore, R. (1997). Rethinking the Brain: New Insights into Early Development. New York, NY: Families and Work Institute, pp. 26-27.

Efforts of Manashakti Research Center - Mendu-Kranti (Brain Revolution) guidance to the parents, basic course.

Considering the points mentioned above and in order to help parents in nurture of their kids till age 7, Manashakti offers guidance through training courses for last over 30 years. The three days programs conducted in main center and the workshops at main and outstation local centers have trained thousands of curious parents till now. The efforts are appreciated by parents and the events are very popular. All the events are conducted as part of social service at no profit, no loss basis.

This course (Mendu kranti, brain revolution) is specially meant for parents having kids between 1 and 7 years.

As seen, the state of brain changes every seven years. The first stage of brain development is seven years after birth. The efforts taken to nurture the kids in this phase help them all along their lives. These children have a great understanding power and receptivity, and the ignorance towards them can invite various problems. This course offers detailed guidance regarding the steps to achieve physical, psychological and intellectual development of the child as well as the right approach to be taken as parents in this process.

Parents must have emotional intelligence and understanding to raise child properly. Being mother & father is easy but being parents is bit difficult. But it is equally true that efforts in right direction can make parenting easy and enjoyable. At Lonavala, Manashakti conducts 3 day study camp that help parents in the proper emotional development of a child.

Mendu-Kranti (Brain Revolution) – Advance

This 2-days advance study course is meant for parents of kids between 1 and 7 years of age; and only for those parents who have previously attended the basic Mendu-kranti course as above. A rational parenting approach for it is discussed in this course.

Features:

1. How to nurture kids?

2. Various experiments for kids explaining how to make the kids participate in such experiments

3. Unique action plans (activities) for kid's brain development

4. Achieving emotional & social development in kids

5. Guide lines for rational parenting

6. Communication skills for parents etc.

Day work shop is also designed for the parents who would not be able to spare more time.

Mind Machine tests are available to find out aptitude/interests/ inclination of children. For better nurture impact, parents must do self-analysis to bring changes in own behavior. Parents are told some simple tricks to do this. If the parents endeavor to assess the inherent tendency or inclinations of the child in these early years, then probably they can help him for proper career or learning discipline in the later years.

Books. A number of relevant books and Mind-Body machine tests are available at Manashakti for the help of parents and children. The details can be seen from the website:  manaashakti.org.

Efforts in the next stage.

We have seen briefly how to take care of our young children in their early years. Second important stage in development of child is 8 to 14 years of age. This period is of transformation from childhood to youth. Also it is an important period that shapes personality. In next article let’s discuss what to do for this age group.

Vijay R. Joshi,

PRE-CONCEPTION CARE.

Healthy Seed Breeds a Healthy Crop

A child must get training/guidance not only for success in academic examination, but also for sound health and in shaping modest and responsible behavior/character. This will pave the way for success in the future, happy life.

“घटाघटाचे रूप आगळेI प्रत्येकाचे दैव वेगळेI

(“Every person is unique. Everybody has different fate”)
.

As every person has different personality, every person’s destiny is also different. But it can be changed suitably by training the mind to think and act correctly.

We are deliberating about what is the possible share of efforts by others in making child’s future favorable. And the prime initial role is that of parents, mother and father, who are in the proximity of the child not only since its existence, but even for the concept of would be existence.

Healthy seeds are necessary for excellent harvest. The same principle applies for super procreation. It demands seed to be pure, strong and healthy. The long journey that decides what kind of human being the child is going to develop into, begins at the moment when a mother conceives. But pre-conception care is also necessary for proper conception.

Let us review the latest research on need of pre-conception efforts.

Ref:  Daily Science News: Research from research organization.

1. Preventing child obesity in the next generation must start before conception. Date: October 13, 2016 Source: University of Southampton

Summary: The key to preventing obesity in future generations is to make their parents healthier before they conceive, leading health researchers suggest.

2. Mothers who binge drink before they become pregnant may be more likely to have children with high blood sugar and other changes in glucose function that increase their risk of developing diabetes as adults, according to a new study. Date: April 3, 2017. Source: The Endocrine Society.

3. Work to improve children's health should start before mother becomes pregnant. Date: October 20, 2014. Source: University of Southampton

Summary: The key to making future generations healthier could lie before the mother becomes pregnant, researchers believe. In a new article, they say that a greater understanding is needed of the role of maternal nutrition in preconception and its impact on the child.

4. Fathers drinking: Also responsible for fetal disorders? Date: February 14, 2014 Source: Taylor & Francis

Summary: Maternal exposure to alcohol in-utero is a known risk and cause of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). FAS children suffer significant problems such as retarded intellect, stunted growth and nervous system abnormalities, social problems and isolation. Until now, fathers have not had a causal link to such disabilities. Ground breaking new research has been revealed which shows dads may have more accountability.

5. Epigenetics: Mother's nutrition -- before pregnancy -- may alter function of her children's genes. Date: September 20, 2012. Source: Federation of American Societies for Experimental Biology

Summary: A pregnant mom's diet affects her child's health. Now, new research in mice suggests that what mom ate before pregnancy is also important.

6. Parents' preconception exposure to environmental stressors can disrupt early development. Article spotlights latest science showing transgenerational health impact of environmental stressors. Date: August 4, 2015. Source: The Endocrine Society

Summary: Even before a child is conceived, the parents' exposure to environmental stressors can alter the way genes are expressed and ultimately harm the child's health when those genes are passed down to the next generation, according to a new article.

7. Fathers' age, lifestyle associated with birth defects

Date: May 15, 2016. Source: Georgetown University Medical Center

Summary: A growing body of research is revealing associations between birth defects and a father's age, alcohol use and environmental factors, say researchers. They say these defects result from epigenetic alterations that can potentially affect multiple generations.

8. Parenting begins before conception. September 3, 2016

New research shows that your health and lifestyle-factors around the time of conception can have a significant impact on both your chances of achieving a healthy pregnancy as well as the long term health of your child.  In fact it may be even more important than your genetics.

What are epigenetics? Epigenetics are the tiny DNA changes that alter their structure and function. Our DNA is not as ‘set in stone’ as you may think. Just because you have a history of heart disease, does not mean you will automatically pass this on to your child. In fact, during the crucial preconception period, you have the chance to actually improve your genes!

Our genes are sensitive to the environment to which they are exposed. This means that genes can change the way they are expressed depending on their environmental conditions. These changes are known as epigenetic changes.

Factors such as

• antioxidant status
• availability of macro and micronutrients
• stress
• alcohol
• smoking

can have a positive or negative influence over these epigenetic chances. We have long known that these changes occur in utero, however research now shows that you can start influencing the health of your future child before you even conceive. Healthy diet and lifestyle factors combined with availability of important nutrients can influence the environment in which your egg and sperm grow and develop, encouraging positive epigenetic changes. Both the egg and sperm have around a 90 day developmental cycle, where they progress from immature follicle into the mature egg and sperm ready for potential fertilization. It is during these critical 90 days that you can positively influence your DNA which is set to become your future child.

The motto of ‘being the best Mum starts well before birth’.  Now research is showing that the nourishment you provide before you even conceive, may be more important than ever.

"Manashakti" offers guidance.

Foreseeing the need of pre-conception training, Manashakti has already started the guidance to the needy couples through a full day workshop. Let us see the concept in some details.

Conceiving with Resolution

Process of conceiving begins at a moment when ovum, i.e. female egg fuse with gametes, i.e. male sperm. It is believed that three to four months prior to this moment is the important period for pre conception care. Because during this period process of egg and sperm production continues in body of mother and father. This means the preparation to deliver good child should begin around 12-13 months before birth of a child. 

Here we are mainly discussing the mind’s role in such efforts. Husband and wife should resolve to deliver a baby before this. That is to say; the birth should be by the desire or resolution of parents and not incidental or by accident.

YOUR DESTINY IS YOUR CREATION.

During sexual intercourse, healthy male releases about 500 million sperms into vagina of a woman. But only single sperm can unite with an egg of a woman. How this choice is made is an unsolved question. The moment of meeting of a sperm and an egg is the first moment of existence of a future child. This moment is very important for the human being who is going to take birth and live long life. It is the first experience of child to be borne. Efforts to ensure worthiness of human egg and sperm are necessary including physical and psychological state of mother and father and total environment. Therefore it is beneficial to consciously put in efforts in preparation of this moment. 

Eugenics – The Science of Creation: Eugenics means the science of good creation. It is the science of creating good generation, good people. The process of human birth (creation) depends on many components. Worldwide efforts were taken and are being taken to make it better. We find a deep reflection in Indian culture about super procreation, i.e. creation of better people. We also find some mantras in Vedas about this. Indian culture suggests 16 sanskars for a person which are rituals performed pre-birth stage to post death stage. These sanskars teach us about the obligation in our life. Out of these 16 sanskars three sanskars are performed before birth of child.

·  Garbhadhan: knowledge of the efforts to be taken by mother and father to produce good child

·  Punsavan: protection of fetus and welcoming the spirit.

· Simantronayan: (craving of pregnant woman, डोहाळे): purifying environment, taking care of mother.

Following is the book written by Gajanan Kelkar of Manashakti which is good reference on the subject. (http://www.manashakti.org/books/super-procreation)

Marriage and Compatibility

For successful conception, many things prior-to; should also be successful. Among those things primarily important are choice of your partner for marriage. Choosing correct partner and marrying him or her is one of the 16 sanskars. Marriage is considered as a life-time relationship in Indian / vaidik culture; continued with a number of responsibilities only for self and family but also for elders and society in general. (Some cultures consider marriage as a contract). In classical Indian culture, marriage is considered necessary for Gruhasthaashram (गृहस्थाश्रम). Gruhasthashram is considered as the base of three other ashrams (i.e. Brahmacharya ब्रह्मचर्य, Vanprastha वानप्रस्थ and Sanyas सन्यास). We see happiness of an individual and happiness of society combined here. Sexual relationship is not the only purpose of marriage. To live responsible and better married life, what should a husband and wife do, what they should avoid, etc. comes under this sanskar (विवाह संस्कार). In Eugenics or super procreation, choice of a partner and compatibility are very important for birth of a child. Two people must have compatible nature to live happily ever after.

Manashakti Research Center provide guidance for pre-marriage compatibility and post-marriage compatibility. Very rarely the “couples are made for each other”. In pre marriage stage if couple properly understands the character or personal traits of the partner, it will be useful to know what efforts, adjustments, both need do to enhance compatibility. These efforts will eventually result in happy married life. After marriage, during initial days when husband and wife experience each other more closely, with intimacy, then more understanding, faith and love for each other should emerge. Having complete awareness about this is important while choosing partners for marriage. The birth of a child after marriage (not pre-marriage) is desirable and assumed in this discussion. This assumption has become more important and relevant in today’s era of evolving social values.

Thus if compatible married couple conceive with resolution, the possibility of favorable child is utmost, as there would be better chances of proper physical and psychological environment at the time of conception. In this context, a day seminar of Manashakti Research Center on Super procreation is very useful for newly married couples. (http://www.manashakti.org/content/newly-wed-and-pre-pregnancy)

Newly Wed and Pre-Pregnancy

Marriage is one of the turning points in life; and the future life is to proceed on two wheels of the cart. To have a smooth run, there should be harmony between the two wheels. Taking a right direction at this turning point is the first step towards a happy home. A happy home wins half the battle of life! To that end, Manashakti has following activities, literature and products.

                                           

Suprajanan Workshop (for couple)(Language-Marathi)

Machine Test

Energy Quanta Test.

Post-Marriage Adjustment Test

Suprajanan Test.

Nature and Nurture – Both Are Important

Genes of parents play important role in development of brain and overall personality of the child. Now it is also proven that environment in which conception happens is also equally important. Genes are part of nature, but environment is a part of nurture. The feeling of being wanted by parents is very conducive to the child since prenatal stage. Conceiving child and bringing up with love is very beneficial. If physical or psychological condition of a mother is tense or depressed during this stage, this can adversely affect child for life. Responsibility of care of woman during this period mainly rests with her husband and her family. But it is also important that the woman herself be aware and take active initiative in these efforts.

Happiness / Satisfaction / Positive Attitude

Memory means remembering things. Where does this memory begin? Memory means storing what we experience and learn. During this process we change ourselves according to our experience. A fetus cannot have experience of an infant. Likewise a child cannot have experience of an adult. Even though experiences of a person change, the moments of his earlier existence remain intact in later stage. All the experiences from the moment of conception are stored in our cells as a permanent memory. Our today’s personality is an overall result of it. If prospective parents understand this process, they will be able to create positive memories of happiness and satisfaction in child.  Young children are suffering from psychosomatic disorders based on tension and depression. These disorders resulting in destructive and self-destructive nature are linked with the experiences in initial life. Modern science has proven this. Negligence, horrific incidents, bad behavior in this stage, weakens the child physically and psychologically. This creates deficiency in them. Their academic progress gets slow. Child needs love, faith and care from prenatal stage till they are grown up. This is responsibility of parents and teachers as well. When good quality seed is sown, the plant will grow to reach the sky. The prenatal care of the child really starts from pre-conception stage. Pre-natal care is the topic of our next article.

Vijay R. Joshi.

Swami Vijnananand: Efforts for the new generation..

A famous quote says ‘if you want one year of prosperity, grow grain. If you want ten years of prosperity grow trees; but, if you want hundreds of years of prosperity, nurture the youths’. Efficient and morality practicing young generation is important and necessary aspect in nation building. 

Statistics reveal that presently; India has 50% of its total population below the age of 20 years and about 70% or more below the age of 35 years. Therefore India is known as nation of youths in the world. India is predicted to be a world superpower in next 10 to 15 years. Realization of this dream is largely based on the assumed success and accomplishment of young generation. Thus, we can conclude that if India or any nation for that matter, wants to gain and maintain top position in the world in coming years, it is necessary to start and continue the process of creating capable, virtuous and patriotic young generation.  

 

Educational institutions, office bearers, principals, teachers, parents, government officials, politicians responsible for educational policy making – all should consider this fact before planning and implementing a strategy. Manashakti Research Centre particularly and especially is working with this purpose. Its objective is to help parents, teachers and others concerned in nurturing young generation. With this objective, it is busy organizing many study camps and related activities regularly for past many years. Recently a three days conference was organized at Lonavla on the subject “Efforts required to bring up the new generation with right character.”

Pursuit of happiness

Each one of us mostly strives for happiness and happiness is the major objective. Parents attempt to fill their child’s world with happiness. They always try hard to raise their child properly and keep his or her life on correct track. But mostly they are ignorant about the exact course of action to achieve their aim and often their efforts result   not yielding desired results; end-up into failure. To some extent; this is applicable to schools and teachers also.

If we review the condition and status of children – from infants to teenagers - the overall state of affairs we see is quite worrying.  9^th June 2010 edition of English daily published from Mumbai displayed following headlines on front page:

-         Two and half year old child suffers from depression.

-         A rich Kid steals……just for the craze of thrill

We see quite often the news related to the stress, depression and  resulting ill effects due to the erratic behavior in younger generation.

Today we can easily hear about depression among six to ten years old children. High blood pressure, diabetes is common in school and college students, at least during the pre-exam period of high tension, as revealed in some social surveys published. Another published survey revealed that 50% school students in a metropolitan city were of aggressive nature and show tendency to become a gang member of bad boys operating in school campus.

Tough competition; tension of study; increasing struggle due to ambition of getting maximum marks; addiction of TV, mobile phones, social media and Internet games; excessive / untimely eating and sleeping; exam fear; getting confused at the time of exam; anger;  unwillingness to attend school; self-centered nature; lack of definite pre-set goal – 

complaints coming from parents are many and never-ending. 

On one side tensed parents are worried about future of children, on the other side; children are getting depressed and aggressive due to various external factors. Dynamic lifestyle has provided us many conveniences that we had never seen before. But it has also given birth to worries and sorrows that were never present in our life in the past.

Where Is Happiness?

Matthieu Ricard is a French scientist turned Buddhist monk. He has reputation of being ‘happiest person in the world’. He has published a book on ‘happiness’. He says that our mind is flexible and constantly changing. We can dramatically change our life, if we slightly change our attitude toward world and our perception of external things.

How to execute these changes? What exactly we should repair? To find the answers we must entirely review the concept of happiness.

Happy Personality

In some of the earlier blog-articles; we have seen how the concept of happiness has been treated by Swamiji in terms of laws of motion and second law of thermodynamics, Entropy. Here we shall try to see this in another rational way.

Anybody who really wants to be happy in life needs three things. They are:

1.     Capacity to earn money for material comforts – This requires Success in examinations.

2.     Physical fitness – This requires maintaining sound health.

3.     Peace and satisfaction – This requires appropriate behavior, nature or character.

It is always beneficial to strive for them since the onset. Let’s try to understand it in brief:

1.     Success in Examination: One has to pass many exams with flying colors since childhood to young age and even later in life. Syllabus, Passing criteria and competition is part and parcel of every examination. We need to study various things with devotion, honesty, concentration and persistence. You have to prove your worth gradually by passing examination. Our financial and other gains are determined according to this. Currently this process continues from two and half / three years to twenty five years of age. Many career options are present as per one’s interests and caliber. We can choose from them. Even after completing academic studies, one has to face many examinations and competition such as in job interview, promotion or while starting new business. At each stage one has to ensure correct efforts and decisions for further progress. One can earn wealth after all these efforts. In short,  success in the examination is most necessary.

Health: A person cannot be happy without excellent physical health because only healthy and sound person is capable of enjoying all the pleasure we get from wealth. For instance, a person might have financial capacity to eat tasty sweets every day. But if he has diabetes, he is absolutely forbidden to do so. We cannot enjoy any pleasure without health. Our body is made of many organs, cells and various systems (such as digestive system, respiratory system, etc.). Their complicated functioning needs proper balance and sound health of each body component which is important for day to day activities. So a person must include well-planned and controlled diet, recreation, rest and exercise in his lifestyle. Parents must consciously take care and lay foundation of child’s health since childhood. Today health care is a matter of big concern. Many physical and psychological illnesses of adult age are arriving early at young age on large scale due to faulty lifestyle and food habits.

3       Nature or Character: These two factors mentioned above, i.e. success in examination and health might be favorable to a person, but no one can be happy without appropriate nature (behavior). Negative, unsatisfied, egoistic, vain person remains unsatisfied and unhappy in spite of favorable conditions. On the other hand, person having appropriate character, nature can reduce his unhappiness by remaining balanced even during adverse health and wealth conditions. Nature of a person means attitude, motivation, tendencies, behavior and character. All these things are important and essential for happiness. Therefore cultivating, nurturing proper nature, building character plays very important role in creating new young generation to face life challenges in the years to come. In fact it may not be wrong to conclude that while the first two factors are important, this third factor is vitally more important.

Character building

Character building by increasing emotional quotient is a hot topic of discussion among thinkers in the world today. An international conference on ‘Educating world citizens for the 21^st century’ was held in October 2009 at Washington, USA, under leadership of Dalai Lama. This important issue is at the center of discussion amongst thinkers all over world. The process of developing nature and character mainly takes place in childhood, i.e. up till age of 12 to 14 years. To accomplish proper things in this process, parents and teachers can contribute on large scale and media and government can also play their proper role. It is necessary to create awareness and give training in this regard. Many experts have presented their viewpoint on this aspect in the recently held Manashakti conference also. 
(The conference details at link 'http://educon.manashakti.org/20-Jan17.html')

In prevailing education system emphasize is put on scoring the marks and grades in examination. Curriculum and training regarding focus on health and character building attracts very less attention or is completely ignored. This aspect assumes high importance in MANASHAKTI efforts in nurturing youth. We shall see more on this in the articles to follow.

With due emphasis on Character Development, we have to prepare the revised-new rational education policy to nurture the overall personality (i.e. success in examination, health and character) of the child during the journey form prenatal stage to youth.We should take into account advantages and disadvantages of current education system to find out appropriate solutions and plug the loopholes. For doing this we need co-operation from all concerned. While determining these details of action; we should first objectively review when, where, how and by what means the learning process takes place in the life of child. So we could understand how to make that process more favorable and appropriate. The subject was discussed in its basics by Swamiji in his book “Save Your Child from Yourself”.

We shall review this; in the article to follow.

 

Vijay R. Joshi.