Showing posts with label teachers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teachers. Show all posts

Friday, August 30, 2019

Role of homes, schools and governance in Character Education.

   


In order to impart all inclusive, secular character education to the new generation and to fulfill the real purpose of nurturing the upcoming youngsters throughout the world, A suitable blueprint has to be prepared. The need is widely felt and such plan of action would fulfill the purpose of education.

What thinkers say?


“When educating the minds of youth, we must not forget to educate their hearts”                                                                         H. H. Dalai Lama.

Teaching is a very noble profession that shapes the character, caliber, and future of an individual. If the people remember me as a good teacher, that will be the biggest honor for me.                           A. P. J. Abdul Kalam.

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.                                                                      Albert Einstein.


What should be the aim of education and how can this be achieved?


Everybody and all human being desire to be happy, satisfied and peace full life. So, achieving such a state should be the aim of education system. A famous quote says ‘if you want one year of prosperity, grow grain. If you want ten years of prosperity grow trees; but, if your dream is to bring about hundreds of years of prosperity, nurture the youths and build Nation”

Statistics reveal that presently; India has 50% of its total population below the age of 20 years and about 70% or more below the age of 35 years. Therefore India is known as nation of youths in the world. India is predicted to be a world superpower in next 10 to 15 years. Realization of this dream is largely based on the assumed success and accomplishment of young generation. Thus, we can conclude that if India or any nation for that matter, wants to gain and maintain a top position in the world in coming years, it is necessary to start and continue the process of creating capable, virtuous and patriotic young generation.  

Educational institutions, office bearers, principals, teachers, parents, government officials, politicians responsible for educational policy making – all should consider this fact before planning and implementing a strategy. Education system should create efficient and competent youngsters. These people should be multi-skilled to face successfully the challenges of the world tomorrow.

Educating-global-citizens-for-the-21st-century.


Inter-dependent world demand a new vision of world citizenship that is not confined to national boundaries, but encompasses moral and ethical responsibilities to all humanity. People coming of age in the 21st century will need to develop unprecedented levels of intercultural cooperation, mutual moral concern, creativity, and skill in effectively addressing the challenges of the world today—challenges economic, ecological, and inter-cultural/religious in nature. An education that will prepare young people to become competent and compassionate world citizens in such a context. It cannot be measured only in terms of cognitive skills and knowledge, but must address wider aspects of the heart, including skills and qualities of awareness associated with conscious self-regulation, ethical and social responsibility, and empathy and compassion for others. The time has come to usher in a holistic view of education that empowers children and builds resiliency, hope and confidence.

With the initiative of “Mind and Life Institute” at the end of the first decade of 21st century, the topic of Character development has been taken up by leading experts in the field. This is indeed a good news. But the emphasis seems only at “school level”. As seen below the learning process doesn’t start after the child is admitted to school, but right from prenatal stage, rather from pre-conception stage. The role of homes (parents), and other stake holders is also critical.


There are millions of children in the world who do not afford good school admission, rather any school admission. If planning at global level is to be considered, then more comprehensive approach appears necessary. Way back in 1960s, Swamy Vijnananand, the founder of Manashakti Research Center (MRC) in India, thought on these lines and evolved rational, secular, all affordable approach. All human beings of all age groups strive to live happily. All parents also desire that their children should lead happy life.


Where Is Happiness?


Matthieu Ricard is a French scientist turned Buddhist monk. He has reputation of being ‘happiest person in the world’. He has published a book on ‘happiness’. He says that our mind is flexible and constantly changing. We can dramatically change our life, if we slightly change our attitude toward world and our perception of external things.

Happiness/pleasure, Satisfaction, Bliss/balance/peace.


In day today life we see, any pleasure or feeling of happiness is a passing phase and generally follows by displeasure or unhappiness. The state of satisfaction relatively lasts longer. If the mindset is peaceful or blissful, then there is nothing more to achieve. If we want to have a peaceful world the character education alone is the step in right direction.

What is success?




Wealth?  / Recognition? / Respect? /Good health? / Good relationship? / Peace of mind?  Different things to different people. It is subjective.
What are the things required to make one happy, satisfied?

Personality triangle


(1) Wealth, for which exam success is necessary.
(2)  Physical fitness, for which good health is necessary.
(3) Peace, for which balanced behavior is necessary.

Aid of Character education to the prevailing system.


In prevailing education system emphasize is put on scoring the marks and grades in examination. Curriculum and training regarding focus on health and character building attracts very less attention or is completely ignored. There has been emphasize on developing logic based intelligence. If this is supplemented with measures of character education, then both I.Q. and E.Q (intelligent quotient and emotional quotient) will be improved and a balanced well behaving new generation will be available, which indeed is the need of the hour in view of the emerging situation in the world which is coming nearer in fast pace.

Indifferent attitude towards the important factors.


In the triangle given above, except passing the exam with good grades, other two sides of the triangle grossly neglected by Parents/ Schools/policy makers.

Importance of Good Character.    

                    

Imagine a person equipped with success in academic/ professional exams, and physically fit. Can s/he be successful in life if not able to get along with others in any given situation?  The answer is “No”! For success, right character i.e. right attitude, temperament and mature behavioral skills are essential. Negative, self-centered, egoistic and unsatisfied person is bound to score less in spite of favorable status in wealth and health. While a person with balanced behavior, i.e. right character will be happy, satisfied even in some adverse situation of health and wealth. So, while educating the new generation for the new world the nurture of right character assumes importance. We have in this series of blogs have tried to see how this objective can be met with.

Behavior/ Character.


Though, each of us have a mind, it is not visible, can’t be shown as an object. Expression of mind is the behavior of a person, or as commonly called ‘Nature’ of a person. Nature is instinct, attitude, style of reaction, motives etc. Good behavior leads to formation of good character. That is why if we want to develop new generation of good character, it is essential to imbibe the good values in the behavior of the upcoming generation by systematic efforts. All concerned stake holders should note this with great care. We have to make right efforts to impart this training of mind not only to the children but even all adult stake holders also.

Main features of Nature. (Fear, Rage, Courage, Peace)


Fear or Rage dominated nature - This is Inborn, no efforts needed.
Courage or peace dominated nature - This is not in born but achievable only by deliberate efforts. These efforts have to be learn.

Teen Agers’ behavioral problems.



As per one published survey, the major problems of the teenagers world over are as follows:


1. Indulgence in Sex, Alcohol, and Drugs
2. Increased Use of Communication Devices and Social Media
3. Mood Swings
4. Aggression
5. Lying or Hiding Facts
6. Defying Rules and Arguing
7. Drastic Changes In appearance
8. Decreased Communication
9. Spending More Time with Friends
10. Indecisiveness.


If we refer to the personality triangle figure discussed above, it can be easily noticed that almost all of the above problems relate to the nature, character or behavior. Starting from the first decade of this century, lot of research is being conducted in this area. How a person develops his nature, what is the role of genes, what the role an external environment plays in these are some of the research topics. This branch of research is called as “Epigenetics”. One of the branches of epigenetics which deal with the behavioral aspect is called as “Behavioral epigenetics”.

Behavioral epigenetics.


Behavioral epigenetics is the field of study examining the role of epigenetics in shaping animal (including human) behavior. It is an experimental science that seeks to explain how nurture shapes nature, where nature refers to biological heredity and nurture refers to virtually everything that occurs during the life-span (e.g., social-experience, diet and nutrition, and exposure to toxins).

Behavioral epigenetics attempts to provide a framework for understanding how the expression of genes is influenced by experiences and the environment to produce individual differences in behavior, cognition, personality, and mental health.

How Nurture assumes importance.


The behavior of a child is at the behest of brain.
The brain action is based on genes.
And the genes expression is dependent on the signals of the environment. That makes the need to create right environment of nurture.

Train Your Mind Change your brain.


The thought waves in the atmosphere (of homes and schools also society, media) influence the child’s behavior. The decision process in brain influence the action of the child. The brain functioning depends upon genes functioning. The genes function depends upon nature and nurture.

Behavior in daily routine gives shape to the personality of the child.


The genes (nature) and the environment (nurture) both have equal or vital role in shaping the personality of the future adult. Providing proper environment for right nurture is necessary. And this responsibility rests obviously with Homes and Schools where children spend their formative years. The efforts in right nurture will effect in right shaping of the brain resulting in right behavior in future years.

Character building is essential for nation building.


Nobody is perfect. Every individual has some vices and some virtues.
Multiplication of virtues and Division of vices is the process for Character building of the students. This is the process of Sanskar/nurture. Teachers and parents should be given proper training of this process which would be useful not only for the character education of children but for parents as well. M.R.C. makes efforts towards this objective.

Shaping of the character, process:


A repeated action by a person forms imprints in the neural pathways. When these imprints assume strength they become the tendency. Tendencies after a while get converted in to habits. When habits are repeated over time it gets converted in to attitude. Attitudes shape the daily responses/ reactions and finally the cumulative effect of this process lead to the behavior or character of a person at given moment. The process goes on till the end of life. The accumulated effect of the character based behavior forms the destiny of the given moment in the life. So, the character building is the life long process, useful for all age groups. However the process has significant impact in the formative period in life. That is early years or even the prenatal or pre-conception stage, as per the latest research in this field.  When action assumes the form of tendency, it starts taking roots and later it is difficult to control or undo it. So one has to watch carefully and apply appropriate measures as early as possible.

Ability and Character. 


Many people know how to become successful but after becoming successful, they don’t know how to handle it. Ability will get you success. Character will keep you successful. Character building starts from infancy and goes on till death.

Character means: Behavior (Mind expression):  


The way someone thinks, feels, and behaves. Some one's personality is aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature, his moral or ethical qualities, qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; and Integrity.

What a Teacher needs to know?



If he says “I teach English to Sunil”.
Not only I should have expertise in “English” and in “Teaching”, but also, I should have adequate knowledge of “Sunil” as well as “I”. Here the ‘me’ in a person enters the scene. And the training of ‘mind’ assumes importance. This assumes more relevance in the emerging world of this century.

Role of parents in nurture is important as the role of a teacher.



The simile of the skills required by two profession, viz. Doctor and Teacher as stated by one of the speakers in the Washington 2009 conference organized by Mind and Life Institute is worth mentioning. In a major accident (like train accident where lot of people suffer different types of injuries and damages of different organs), each patient needs specific, special treatment which can be given by different specialist doctors… and the patient can be restored to normalcy. In the class room in a similar manner, the need and requirement of each child is different, requiring different special skills. But this has to be attended by single or two academician teachers. The job is complex, beyond the reach of a teacher. This is neither simple, nor practical. Rarely some teacher would be able to meet such expectation. It is difficult for a teacher to understand the specific need of each student in a class room of fifty students. Here the need of training emerges.

What to do? Can we depend entirely on teachers for child’s complete personality development? Here the role of parents assumes importance to supplement the efforts of school teacher. It is possible for parents to closely observe and understand the needs of own children and make tailor made efforts for the nurture of the children in their early years. In fact a partnership between the parents and teachers would be the ideal situation for effecting the desired nurture. Guidance to teachers and parents is also necessary for the right way of nurture.

Key to the Character Education is Gratitude and Equality.


Selfishness is in-born, selflessness is to be imbibed, nurtured with restraint and consistency and developed by practice. The self-centered behavior cannot develop good character. Any individual is a very small part of family, society and all humanity. That is why the concept of ‘self’ has to be developed in this larger context, not in dwarf context.

Essential virtues for such mind-set.


1.    Gratitude: To be grateful to each and every one who has been of help in any manner. (pay respect)

2.    Giving to needy: One should be open to give help, assist others as need arises.

3.    Association/ Organization: get together, associate with the people around by ‘give and take’ means.

If the new generation is nurtured by imbibing these concepts systematically, then we would be able to create the desired high character new generation.
In age-old Indian social systems, this was achieved by the concept of “Yagnya” / Yajna. (see foot note).

Twelve Qualities to be nurtured.


MRC guidance helps parents and children to identify and optimize the in-built personality virtues and reduce vices. The twelve virtues to be nurtured are:


Exam. Success.
Healthy body.
Skill in games.
Proficiency in arts.
Patriotism.
Humanity
Good manners
Farsightedness.
Inter relations skills.
Love for peace.
Fearless adventures.
Leadership qualities.

The process of Learning / Education. 

 

To be successful in the life a child should get good education. Good education is bringing about good change in behavior by proper learning. When, Where, How the learning starts? What is the process of learning?
The process starts indirectly at pre-conception stage. But directly the learning process starts from Pre-natal stage. The knowledge is taken by the mind from the surroundings. Mother and Father are the first teachers. Sense organs assimilate available knowledge and the process starts before birth.


Brain growth and needs of children. 


Age up to 7 years -    Right Brain (Emotional support)
Age 7 to 14 years -    Left Brain (Behavioral nurturing by own role model)
Age 14 to 20 years – Brain growth getting shape. (Support and friendly advice)
Beyond age 20 –       Maturity in Thinking.

Grasping of Knowledge. 


Learning by Sense organs

84%      Eye.  Seeing (screen impact significant)
12%      Ear.  Hearing.
4%        Touch, Test, Smell.  (Skin,   Tongue, Nose).

So the child should see and hear what is good.

Time spent by students. 


40%    Rest
16%    Home
16%    School
16%    Friends, Neighbours, Society.
12%    Mixed.


Influence in shaping youngsters.
(Media has significant influence.)



This environment make impact on child’s mind and shapingthe character.

Friends, Neighbours, Relatives. Society                     33%
                

School                                                                            33%
                         
Home                                                                             33%

Key to Nurture. (संस्कार).


Search and identification of in-built virtues and vices of the kid.
Identification of areas of natural inclination for future development.
Efforts for multiplication (increasing) of virtues and division (decreasing) of vices.


In the formation age of children, Genes and Environment, each have a 50% share. Therefore, it is the parents’ responsibility to behave well. And to create good environment, the behavior of teachers is also a matter of consideration.

Tentative mile stones in growth.


-         Sense and work organs –                 up to 2 years.
-         Ego awareness and growth –           3 to 7 years.
-         Awareness of situation around –      8 to16 years.
-         Logic of things to do -                      8 to 12 years.
-         Imagination to predict -                    13 to 16 yrs.
-         Sexual attraction, plans for future, social views, conscious of self-esteem –                                                          12 to 21yrs.

Early years’ treatment has long term impact.


If the child is criticized then later it condemns, criticizes others.
If dominated and made fun of, then fearful, hesitating nature.
Rough treatment, scolding then arrogance.
Provided encouragement   then self-confident.
If appreciated then have appreciation for others.
If provided support, love, then believes others.
If subjected to gentle, straight forward treatment then it tends to be just towards others.

This is why the early years nurture assumes importance for the effects in later life.

The table indicates stage wise responsibility.


STAGE/AGE GROUP
RESPONSIBILITY
1)      PRENATAL STAGE
MOTHER/FATHER
2)   TILL AGE 7 YEARS  
MOTHER/FATHER/TEACHER
3)   AGE 8 TO 14 YEARS
TEACHER PRIMARY
MOTHER/FATHER SECONDARY
4) AGE 15 TO 21 YEARS
TEACHER
MOTHER/ FATHER FRIENDLY GUIDANCE IF SOUGHT.


Conclusion.


Systematic efforts from pre-conception/pre-natal stage till adulthood are necessary to nurture a youngster. While academic excellence is necessary, the sound body and mind is also necessary. With these, the person will be able to lead a contended life of co-existence in the new world of 21st century. We have tried to cover pros and cons and also given the plan of action for implementation in each stage of the formation year. While the all-acceptable, secular character education syllabus is necessary, the outline of Manashakti Research Center (MRC) programs is also briefly mentioned. It is revealed that in initial years, efforts will have to be initiated for training of teachers and parents. The importance of the character education has to be imbibed on the policy makers who hold the tool of governance. Some training programs may be necessary for the concerned authorities. Moreover, this has also to be a social movement to the extent possible. Though for initial years, substantial efforts are involved, and it may take several years or even generations, they are worth. This is the only way to make the future generations and the world community to lead contended, prosperous life and to prevail peace. Hope this important aspect of relevance to every human being attracts the attention of the schools, homes, leaders, policy makers and all stake holders.
With prayer for word peace, we conclude the series of articles on this subject.

Foot note: Yajna literally means "devotion, worship, offering", and refers in Hinduism to any ritual done in front of a sacred fire, often with mantras. Yajna has been a Vedic tradition, described in a layer of Vedic literature. The tradition has evolved from offering oblations and libations into sacred fire to symbolic offerings in the presence of sacred fire (Agni).

This is the procedural part. But in the Vedic era this proved to be a great tool for social cohesive reforms. Any individual in society has some people superior to him, some equal and some inferior and some people of equal status. Superiority / inferiority on consideration of age, knowledge, skills, experience, wealth etc. In the Yajna concept where there will be mass gathering of the people, you have to pay respect to your superior by giving service. Help/ give gifts/ donate/support to the inferior and endeavor to bring him up. While you have to form association of the equals by cooperation, share your resources by give/take process for the mutual benefits. This process brings 'haves' and 
'have nots', all the sections together with love and the cooperation. Cohesive, harmonious society is the result.

Besides ritual, this social aspect of religion is useful in all ages.


Vijay R. Joshi.










































Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Character developing efforts (Age 7-14 years - 1)

The most vital Period for Nurturing Balanced Personality.


We are trying to understand the formula for learning – nurturing, for balanced personality development in various stages of life. We have learnt that from birth till seven years of age; is the stage of emotional development. The next stage is between seven to fourteen years of age. We can call it as the ideal stage of installing a base for disciplined mind-setup in the child’s personality.

We must understand and appreciate that while entering from one stage to another stage, some period of say two years is of transformation. So whereas during first five years the strong emotional support would be useful, during 6-7th years of age, a child may need logical support with his or her emotional development. This logical thinking further develops afterwards. Later during 10–11 years stage of age understanding gets better. Child tries to understand what is good and bad? How to avoid bad? How to do what is good!  During this period parents must skillfully create an awareness in the mind of child that nothing is completely good or completely bad in this world, one must choose what is good and try to achieve it. The child must develop the attitude to say “Yes, I can make this possible with efforts”. This sense in the initial stage, say by 10-11 years shall help to develop logical efforts based behavior during period of 12–14 years of age. This in turn prepares child to enter next stage of youth.

Brain Development


 

Generally after seven years of age, function of Cortex, which is “thinking brain” takes shape. An ability of rational thinking with logic and intelligence gets developed. This period is important for the physical development as well. Ambitions of life are determined in youth, but its foundation starts taking shape during this period. At this stage, child must get guidance regarding:

Proper diet,
Exercise,
What to do, what to avoid,
How to identify feelings, how to deal with them,
How to identify feelings of others, how to react to them,
How to deal with situation properly,
Concentration and persistence for success through study,
How to be successful within the norms of prescribed rules and discipline, etc.

Role of both parents & teachers is important who can provide this guidance. Children learn in their own style but more by observation and imitating others. Therefore responsible and ideal behavior of teachers and parents is more effective and useful than verbal instructions.

Middle Childhood (6-8 years of age)

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/middle.html

Developmental Milestones

Middle childhood brings many changes in a child’s life. By this time, children can dress themselves, catch a ball more easily using only their hands, and tie their shoes. Having independence from family becomes more important now. Events such as starting school bring children this age into regular contact with the larger world. Friendships become more and more important. Physical, social, and mental skills develop quickly at this time. This is a critical time for children to develop confidence in all areas of life, such as through friends, schoolwork, and sports.

Here is some information on how children develop during middle childhood:

Emotional/Social Changes

Children in this age group might:

Show more independence from parents and family.
Start to think about the future.
Understand more about his or her place in the world.
Pay more attention to friendships and teamwork.
Want to be liked and accepted by friends.

Thinking and Learning

Show rapid development of mental skills.
Learn better ways to describe experiences and talk about thoughts and feelings.
Have less focus on one’s self and more concern for others.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:

Show affection for your child. Recognize her accomplishments.
Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—ask him to help with household tasks, such as setting the table.
Talk with your child about school, friends, and things she looks forward to in the future.
Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage him to help people in need.
Help your child set her own achievable goals—she’ll learn to take pride in herself and rely less on approval or reward from others.
Help your child learn patience by letting others go first or by finishing a task before going out to play. Encourage him to think about possible consequences before acting.
Make clear rules and stick to them, such as how long your child can watch TV or when she has to go to bed. Be clear about what behavior is okay and what is not okay.
Do fun things together as a family, such as playing games, reading, and going to events in your community.
Get involved with your child’s school. Meet the teachers and staff and get to understand their learning goals and how you and the school can work together to help your child do well.
Continue reading to your child. As your child learns to read, take turns reading to each other.
Use discipline to guide and protect your child, rather than punishment to make him feel bad about himself. Follow up any discussion about what not to do with a discussion of what to do instead.
Praise your child for good behavior. It’s best to focus praise more on what your child does (“you worked hard to figure this out”) than on traits she can’t change (“you are smart”).
Support your child in taking on new challenges. Encourage her to solve problems, such as a disagreement with another child, on her own.
Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a team sports, or to take advantage of volunteer opportunities.
More physical ability and more independence can put children at risk for injuries from falls and other accidents.
Protect your child properly in the car.
Teach your child to watch out for traffic and how to be safe when walking to school, riding a bike, and playing outside.
Make sure your child understands water safety, and always supervise her when she’s swimming or playing near water.
Supervise your child when he’s engaged in risky activities, such as climbing.
Talk with your child about how to ask for help when she needs it.
Keep potentially harmful household products, tools, equipment, out of your child’s reach.

Healthy Bodies

Parents can help make schools healthier. Work with your child’s school to limit access to foods and drinks with added sugar, solid fat, and salt that can be purchased outside the school lunch program.
Make sure your child has 1 hour or more of physical activity each day.
Limit screen time for your child to no more than 1 to 2 hours per day of quality programming, at home, school, or afterschool care.
Practice healthy eating habits and physical activity early. Encourage active play, and be a role model by eating healthy at family mealtimes and having an active lifestyle.

Middle Childhood (9-11 years of age)

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/middle2.html


Developmental Milestones

Your child’s growing independence from the family and interest in friends might be obvious by now. Healthy friendships are very important to your child’s development, but peer pressure can become strong during this time. Children who feel good about themselves are more able to resist negative peer pressure and make better choices for themselves. This is an important time for children to gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing independence. Also, physical changes of puberty might be showing by now, especially for girls. Another big change children need to prepare for during this time is starting Developmenta milestones..

Here is some information on how children develop during middle childhood:

Emotional/Social Changes

Children in this age group might:

Start to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex. 
Experience more peer pressure.
Become more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches. 
Body image and eating problems sometimes start around this age.

Thinking and Learning.

Children in this age group might:

Face more academic challenges at school.
Become more independent from the family.
Begin to see the point of view of others more clearly.
Have an increased attention span.

Positive Parenting Tips

Following are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:

Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments and what challenges she will face.
Be involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your child’s teachers.
Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team, or to be a volunteer for a charity.
Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things friends might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.
Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household tasks like cleaning and cooking. Talk with your child about saving and spending money wisely.
Meet the families of your child’s friends.
Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage her to help people in need. Talk with her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.
Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would like to have and about how to develop them.
Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk with your child about what you expect from her (behavior) when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help her to know what to do in most situations.
Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him feel badly about himself.
When using praise, help your child think about her own accomplishments. Saying “you must be proud of yourself” rather than simply “I’m proud of you” can encourage your child to make good choices when nobody is around to praise her.
Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.
Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with him about his homework.
Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.
More independence and less adult supervision can put children at risk for injuries from falls and other accidents. 

Here are a few tips to help protect your child:

Protect your child in the car.
Know where your child is and whether a responsible adult is present. Make plans with your child for when he will call you, where you can find him, and what time you expect him home.
Make sure your child wears a helmet when riding a bike or a skateboard or using inline skates; riding on a motorcycle or playing contact sports.
Many children get home from school before their parents get home from work. It is important to have clear rules and plans for your child when she is home alone.

Healthy Bodies

Provide plenty of fruits and vegetables; limit foods high in solid fats, added sugars, or salt, and prepare healthier foods for family meals.
Keep television sets out of your child’s bedroom. Limit screen time, including computers and video games, to no more than 1 to 2 hours.
Encourage your child to participate in an hour a day of physical activities that are age appropriate and enjoyable and that offer variety! Just make sure that your child is doing three types of activity: aerobic activity like running, muscle strengthening like climbing, and bone strengthening – like jumping rope – at least three days per week.

Developmental Overview: Ages 10-14


What to Expect

Young teens are going through such dramatic changes, it’s normal for them to swing from being happy to being sad or from feeling smart to feeling dumb. They may worry about personal traits that are vital to them, but hardly noticeable to others. With a growing ability to see the consequences of different actions.

Young teens are increasingly considering who they are and who they may become. They are more able to think like adults, but they don’t have the experience and judgment needed to act like adults. It’s important to help them recognize that.

What really matters: 

Your reassurance and acceptance are especially important at this time, as is your teen’s growth in school and community activities. Strong support will help them develop the confidence they need to make healthy choices. Intellectual Development.

Most kids enjoy the social aspects of learning. This works well when teachers encourage learning in small groups.

Around ages 11, 12, and 13, shifts occur in kids’ thinking. Keep them engaged in school and learning. Encourage their curiosity.

Many are strongly influenced by friends, so if they have friends who only want to socialize and not learn, emphasize the importance of having friends and working hard to learn.

Many kids move from concrete to abstract thinking. Concrete thinkers focus on the here and now, such as a particular house cat. Abstract thinkers focus on issues that are not associated with a specific instance. Thus, an abstract thinker can talk about domestic and wild cats, how they’re similar and different, and which ones they believe have more skills than others.

Because kids this age have strong emotions, they tend to either “love” school or “hate” it. If your child happens to “hate” school, help her identify parts that are more enjoyable—even if it’s recess, gym, and lunch.

Most kids at this age think there is too much homework. Emphasize how homework helps kids learn. Do homework with them. Make it fun. Applaud their learning and new knowledge.

Emotional Development

Moodiness and roller-coaster emotions emerge during puberty. Kids can be happy one moment and then violently angry or very depressed the next—and you often won’t be able to figure out why. Be patient and gentle with kids, as they experience strong emotions that can quickly change.

Many talk in violent terms. “I’ll kill him.” “I want to beat her up.” “He’s so bad, he should die.” Some deal with anger and injustice verbally. Others slam doors or stomp their feet. If they act out in destructive ways, get them help with expressing strong emotion.

Emotionally, young teenagers bristle at any physical affection from their parents. Some like a lot of physical affection from their friends while others like to keep their distance.

Many kids can become very emotionally sensitive. They’re easily offended and easily hurt.
Some kids will give you the silent treatment when they become angry—or if they don’t get their way. Give them time to simmer down. They’ll talk to you again (usually when they need something from you).

Some kids begin dabbling in more serious risk behaviors (such as self-harm, smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, or having sex). Help kids steer clear of these behaviors. Talk with them about what they’re experiencing—and what they’re seeing going on with their peers. Some are struggling with difficult issues.

Social Development

This is the age when peer pressure has the most influence. Kids are more interested in “being the same” and “being accepted.” Thus, many will do things with others they would never do alone. Relationships can become quite complex. Some kids will not speak to others. Some relationships become very intense. Some kids have large shifts in their social circles as they go through puberty. Others withdraw and avoid their peers. Some stick with their friends no matter what. Many kids would rather be social than tend to their school work or other responsibilities. Emphasize how all parts of life are important.

Silliness can rule with some kids. Kids at this age can have a twisted sense of humor. Many kids want to spend most of their time with friends. Some homes become tense with young teenagers who like to argue and test. Other homes are calmer with occasional skirmishes. It all depends on the child’s personality.

Cliques and tight-knit groups can form. Kids become very aware of who is in which group—even if they’re not always sure where they fit.

Physical Development

This is the age when kids need to start using deodorant and learning more personal hygiene. Some go overboard and spend hours in the bathroom. Others resist, refusing to bathe. Puberty reigns at this age. Puberty, however, has several stages for both boys and girls, which is why you’ll see kids developing at different rates between the ages of 8 and 18.

With growth spurts come clumsiness and a lack of coordination. It isn’t easy for a person to grow six inches within a few months without his sense of balance being disrupted. Typically, between ages 12 and 14, kids become very aware of their own sexuality and others’ sexuality. Some are nervous about developing too fast. Others are worried about developing too slowly.

If your child is not athletic, help her find a sport or physical activity she enjoys. At this age, kids who don’t excel athletically are tempted to avoid all physical activity. Consider martial arts such as kung fu, judo, karate, which often appeal to this age group.

Mind set / Outlook for this age-group.

Sense of reality:

After seven years of age child learns to understand opinion and importance of other people. Child observes various objects. He now understands rules. Child compares his parents, neighbors and forms his own opinion. He understands that by elders; rules are often considered flexible and are interpreted as per the necessity. He can now take small decisions of his own. After 12 years of age, power to make logical guess increases and children take decision after thinking by their own way.

Friendship and study (age 5 to 12 years)

Child tends to increase his efforts on study and also develop suitable friends. Also spends some time to prove his name and create his stamp in the peer group.

Interest in opposite sex (age 12 to 16 and onwards)

Attraction of opposite sex
Thinks and decides about means of livelihood in future, job, business, etc.
Forms social attitude and opinion
Craze for Good appearance and attractive look.

Emotions take verbal form

During childhood, child understands that he has his own set of feelings for the world around. He tries to identify these feelings and put them in words. Mind has various kinds of emotions Such as anger, sorrow, disgust, surprise, fear, acceptance, happiness, expectations, etc. It is important to identify them exactly. Identifying our own and other people’s feelings can make emotional intelligence and balance possible. This leads to self-confidence and progress. During 8 to 10 years of age, child tries to create faith and confidence in him, in others, in the situation and in the world he lives. Education of emotions is important at this stage.

Life values

During age 11 to 14, it is important to introduce child with values and emphasize their importance in his mind. Each individual is an independent personality but he is also a part of community (Family, Society). A broadminded attitude that is necessary to become successful as individual as well as a member of community requires particular kind of character building. Period of 8 to 14 years of age is the best time for such efforts. Sanskars (nurturing) that intentionally inculcate compassion, sympathy, service, gratitude and a little tolerance and forgiveness can develop correct mindset. Responsibility of teachers and parents play a major role in this regard.


Worries, Fears.
Importance of efforts

Fear, doubt and superstitions limit the development in children. They hinder child’s effort to bring his dreams into reality. This stage is important for learning and teaching the skill of controlling these emotions while dealing with such situations. Guidance on this stage is important to imprint importance of setting high goals to be successful in the world of increasing competition. Also children should be taught importance of concentrating on honest efforts and persistence rather than to concentrate only on results and achievement of these efforts. (कर्मण्ये वाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन = भगवत गीता)

These years are important for children to develop social & emotional awareness to bring their dreams into reality and strengthen the foundation of their character.

How to Help Your Child Develop Empathy

Want a child who really, truly cares about others? Follow this advice on raising compassionate children.

Empathy -- the ability to understand and be sensitive to other people's feelings -- helps us to be more deeply attached to our family, friends, and even strangers.
You can make a more conscious effort to promote empathy-boosting experiences for your children. Consider these 11 things you can do to raise a truly caring child.

Show Empathy to Others.
Write Genuine Thank-You Notes.
Be Consistent
Boost Her "Feelings Vocabulary".
Praise Each Other Daily
Recognize Kindness.
But Don't Overdo It
Address Your Child's Needs.
Promote Emotional Literacy.
Volunteer
Celebrate Difference.
For details:  https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/5-how-to-help-your-child-develop-empathy.

Understanding concept of mind, nature and tendency and directing the efforts by the elders for nurturing child properly are crucial at this stage.  This is useful to create positive change in life at proper time. If a person can maintain a balance between success and failure, adverse and favorable conditions and develop tendency to think about welfare of community along with own welfare, then the future life journey would proceed on a balanced track. A child with a mind set-up of maintaining balance with the help of ‘ups and downs’ of daily life and looking at everything as opportunity; will make himself and others happy.

Sanskar efforts (nurturing efforts) on these lines will help setup strong foundation of life. But we should also keep in mind that presence and ill effects of adverse and bad things prevailing in the society or surroundings in the vicinity might threaten to ruin the life in future. Parents, teachers, society, media (TV, Internet etc.), who have direct/indirect role in these efforts should be well aware of various desirable and undesirable things those affect our children. The policy makers have to take due cognition of this fact to create conducive environment for the up-coming generations. 

In the next article let’s discuss how to take care in this regard.



Vijay R. Joshi.