The most vital Period for Nurturing Balanced Personality.
We are
trying to understand the formula for learning – nurturing, for balanced
personality development in various stages of life. We have learnt that from
birth till seven years of age; is the stage of emotional development. The next
stage is between seven to fourteen years of age. We can call it as the ideal stage
of installing a base for disciplined mind-setup in the child’s personality.
We must
understand and appreciate that while entering from one stage to another stage,
some period of say two years is of transformation. So whereas during first five
years the strong emotional support would be useful, during 6-7th years of age,
a child may need logical support with his or her emotional development. This logical
thinking further develops afterwards. Later during 10–11 years stage of age
understanding gets better. Child tries to understand what is good and bad? How
to avoid bad? How to do what is good!
During this period parents must skillfully create an awareness in the
mind of child that nothing is completely good or completely bad in this world,
one must choose what is good and try to achieve it. The child must develop the
attitude to say “Yes, I can make this possible with efforts”. This sense in the
initial stage, say by 10-11 years shall help to develop logical efforts based
behavior during period of 12–14 years of age. This in turn prepares child to
enter next stage of youth.
Brain Development
Generally
after seven years of age, function of Cortex, which is “thinking brain” takes
shape. An ability of rational thinking with logic and intelligence gets
developed. This period is important for the physical development as well.
Ambitions of life are determined in youth, but its foundation starts taking shape
during this period. At this stage, child must get guidance regarding:
Proper
diet,
Exercise,
What to
do, what to avoid,
How to
identify feelings, how to deal with them,
How to
identify feelings of others, how to react to them,
How to
deal with situation properly,
Concentration
and persistence for success through study,
How to
be successful within the norms of prescribed rules and discipline, etc.
Role of
both parents & teachers is important who can provide this guidance.
Children learn in their own style but more by observation and imitating others.
Therefore responsible and ideal behavior of teachers and parents is more
effective and useful than verbal instructions.
Middle Childhood (6-8 years of age)
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/middle.html
Developmental Milestones
Middle
childhood brings many changes in a child’s life. By this time, children can
dress themselves, catch a ball more easily using only their hands, and tie
their shoes. Having independence from family becomes more important now. Events
such as starting school bring children this age into regular contact with the
larger world. Friendships become more and more important. Physical, social, and
mental skills develop quickly at this time. This is a critical time for
children to develop confidence in all areas of life, such as through friends,
schoolwork, and sports.
Here is some information on how children develop during
middle childhood:
Emotional/Social Changes
Children in this age group might:
Show
more independence from parents and family.
Start
to think about the future.
Understand
more about his or her place in the world.
Pay
more attention to friendships and teamwork.
Want to
be liked and accepted by friends.
Thinking and Learning
Show
rapid development of mental skills.
Learn
better ways to describe experiences and talk about thoughts and feelings.
Have
less focus on one’s self and more concern for others.
Positive Parenting Tips
Following
are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:
Show
affection for your child. Recognize her accomplishments.
Help
your child develop a sense of responsibility—ask him to help with household
tasks, such as setting the table.
Talk
with your child about school, friends, and things she looks forward to in the
future.
Talk
with your child about respecting others. Encourage him to help people in need.
Help
your child set her own achievable goals—she’ll learn to take pride in herself
and rely less on approval or reward from others.
Help
your child learn patience by letting others go first or by finishing a task
before going out to play. Encourage him to think about possible consequences
before acting.
Make
clear rules and stick to them, such as how long your child can watch TV or when
she has to go to bed. Be clear about what behavior is okay and what is not
okay.
Do fun
things together as a family, such as playing games, reading, and going to
events in your community.
Get
involved with your child’s school. Meet the teachers and staff and get to
understand their learning goals and how you and the school can work together to
help your child do well.
Continue
reading to your child. As your child learns to read, take turns reading to each
other.
Use
discipline to guide and protect your child, rather than punishment to make him
feel bad about himself. Follow up any discussion about what not to do with a
discussion of what to do instead.
Praise
your child for good behavior. It’s best to focus praise more on what your child
does (“you worked hard to figure this out”) than on traits she can’t change
(“you are smart”).
Support
your child in taking on new challenges. Encourage her to solve problems, such
as a disagreement with another child, on her own.
Encourage
your child to join school and community groups, such as a team sports, or to
take advantage of volunteer opportunities.
More
physical ability and more independence can put children at risk for injuries
from falls and other accidents.
Protect
your child properly in the car.
Teach
your child to watch out for traffic and how to be safe when walking to school,
riding a bike, and playing outside.
Make
sure your child understands water safety, and always supervise her when she’s
swimming or playing near water.
Supervise
your child when he’s engaged in risky activities, such as climbing.
Talk
with your child about how to ask for help when she needs it.
Keep
potentially harmful household products, tools, equipment, out of your child’s
reach.
Healthy Bodies
Parents
can help make schools healthier. Work with your child’s school to limit access
to foods and drinks with added sugar, solid fat, and salt that can be purchased
outside the school lunch program.
Make
sure your child has 1 hour or more of physical activity each day.
Limit
screen time for your child to no more than 1 to 2 hours per day of quality
programming, at home, school, or afterschool care.
Practice
healthy eating habits and physical activity early. Encourage active play, and
be a role model by eating healthy at family mealtimes and having an active
lifestyle.
Middle Childhood (9-11 years of age)
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/positiveparenting/middle2.html
Developmental Milestones
Your
child’s growing independence from the family and interest in friends might be
obvious by now. Healthy friendships are very important to your child’s
development, but peer pressure can become strong during this time. Children who
feel good about themselves are more able to resist negative peer pressure and
make better choices for themselves. This is an important time for children to
gain a sense of responsibility along with their growing independence. Also,
physical changes of puberty might be showing by now, especially for girls.
Another big change children need to prepare for during this time is starting Developmenta milestones..
Here is some information on how children develop during
middle childhood:
Emotional/Social Changes
Children
in this age group might:
Start
to form stronger, more complex friendships and peer relationships. It becomes
more emotionally important to have friends, especially of the same sex.
Experience more peer pressure.
Become
more aware of his or her body as puberty approaches.
Body image and eating
problems sometimes start around this age.
Thinking
and Learning.
Children in this age group might:
Face
more academic challenges at school.
Become
more independent from the family.
Begin
to see the point of view of others more clearly.
Have an
increased attention span.
Positive Parenting Tips
Following
are some things you, as a parent, can do to help your child during this time:
Spend
time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments and
what challenges she will face.
Be
involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your child’s
teachers.
Encourage
your child to join school and community groups, such as a sports team, or to be
a volunteer for a charity.
Help
your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky
things friends might pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical
dares.
Help
your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household
tasks like cleaning and cooking. Talk with your child about saving and spending
money wisely.
Meet
the families of your child’s friends.
Talk
with your child about respecting others. Encourage her to help people in need.
Talk with her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.
Help
your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities
he would like to have and about how to develop them.
Make
clear rules and stick to them. Talk with your child about what you expect from
her (behavior) when no adults are present. If you provide reasons for rules, it
will help her to know what to do in most situations.
Use
discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him
feel badly about himself.
When
using praise, help your child think about her own accomplishments. Saying “you
must be proud of yourself” rather than simply “I’m proud of you” can encourage
your child to make good choices when nobody is around to praise her.
Talk
with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.
Encourage
your child to read every day. Talk with him about his homework.
Be
affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.
More
independence and less adult supervision can put children at risk for injuries
from falls and other accidents.
Here are a few tips to help protect your child:
Protect
your child in the car.
Know
where your child is and whether a responsible adult is present. Make plans with
your child for when he will call you, where you can find him, and what time you
expect him home.
Make
sure your child wears a helmet when riding a bike or a skateboard or using
inline skates; riding on a motorcycle or
playing contact sports.
Many
children get home from school before their parents get home from work. It is
important to have clear rules and plans for your child when she is home alone.
Healthy Bodies
Provide
plenty of fruits and vegetables; limit foods high in solid fats, added sugars,
or salt, and prepare healthier foods for family meals.
Keep
television sets out of your child’s bedroom. Limit screen time, including
computers and video games, to no more than 1 to 2 hours.
Encourage
your child to participate in an hour a day of physical activities that are age
appropriate and enjoyable and that offer variety! Just make sure that your
child is doing three types of activity: aerobic activity like running, muscle
strengthening like climbing, and bone strengthening – like jumping rope – at
least three days per week.
Developmental Overview: Ages 10-14
What to Expect
Young
teens are going through such dramatic changes, it’s normal for them to swing
from being happy to being sad or from feeling smart to feeling dumb. They may
worry about personal traits that are vital to them, but hardly noticeable to
others. With a growing ability to see the consequences of different actions.
Young
teens are increasingly considering who they are and who they may become. They
are more able to think like adults, but they don’t have the experience and
judgment needed to act like adults. It’s important to help them recognize that.
What
really matters:
Your reassurance and acceptance are especially important at
this time, as is your teen’s growth in school and community activities. Strong
support will help them develop the confidence they need to make healthy
choices. Intellectual Development.
Most
kids enjoy the social aspects of learning. This works well when teachers
encourage learning in small groups.
Around
ages 11, 12, and 13, shifts occur in kids’ thinking. Keep them engaged in
school and learning. Encourage their curiosity.
Many
are strongly influenced by friends, so if they have friends who only want to
socialize and not learn, emphasize the importance of having friends and working
hard to learn.
Many
kids move from concrete to abstract thinking. Concrete thinkers focus on the
here and now, such as a particular house cat. Abstract thinkers focus on issues
that are not associated with a specific instance. Thus, an abstract thinker can
talk about domestic and wild cats, how they’re similar and different, and which
ones they believe have more skills than others.
Because
kids this age have strong emotions, they tend to either “love” school or “hate”
it. If your child happens to “hate” school, help her identify parts that are
more enjoyable—even if it’s recess, gym, and lunch.
Most
kids at this age think there is too much homework. Emphasize how homework helps
kids learn. Do homework with them. Make it fun. Applaud their learning and new
knowledge.
Emotional Development
Moodiness
and roller-coaster emotions emerge during puberty. Kids can be happy one moment
and then violently angry or very depressed the next—and you often won’t be able
to figure out why. Be patient and gentle with kids, as they experience strong emotions
that can quickly change.
Many
talk in violent terms. “I’ll kill him.” “I want to beat her up.” “He’s so bad,
he should die.” Some deal with anger and injustice verbally. Others slam doors
or stomp their feet. If they act out in destructive ways, get them help with
expressing strong emotion.
Emotionally,
young teenagers bristle at any physical affection from their parents. Some like
a lot of physical affection from their friends while others like to keep their
distance.
Many
kids can become very emotionally sensitive. They’re easily offended and easily
hurt.
Some
kids will give you the silent treatment when they become angry—or if they don’t
get their way. Give them time to simmer down. They’ll talk to you again
(usually when they need something from you).
Some
kids begin dabbling in more serious risk behaviors (such as self-harm, smoking
cigarettes, drinking alcohol, or having sex). Help kids steer clear of these
behaviors. Talk with them about what they’re experiencing—and what they’re
seeing going on with their peers. Some are struggling with difficult issues.
Social Development
This is
the age when peer pressure has the most influence. Kids are more interested in
“being the same” and “being accepted.” Thus, many will do things with others
they would never do alone. Relationships can become quite complex. Some kids
will not speak to others. Some relationships become very intense. Some kids
have large shifts in their social circles as they go through puberty. Others
withdraw and avoid their peers. Some stick with their friends no matter what.
Many kids would rather be social than tend to their school work or other
responsibilities. Emphasize how all parts of life are important.
Silliness
can rule with some kids. Kids at this age can have a twisted sense of humor.
Many kids want to spend most of their time with friends. Some homes become
tense with young teenagers who like to argue and test. Other homes are calmer
with occasional skirmishes. It all depends on the child’s personality.
Cliques
and tight-knit groups can form. Kids become very aware of who is in which
group—even if they’re not always sure where they fit.
Physical Development
This is
the age when kids need to start using deodorant and learning more personal
hygiene. Some go overboard and spend hours in the bathroom. Others resist,
refusing to bathe. Puberty reigns at this age. Puberty, however, has several
stages for both boys and girls, which is why you’ll see kids developing at
different rates between the ages of 8 and 18.
With
growth spurts come clumsiness and a lack of coordination. It isn’t easy for a
person to grow six inches within a few months without his sense of balance
being disrupted. Typically,
between ages 12 and 14, kids become very aware of their own sexuality and
others’ sexuality. Some are nervous about developing too fast. Others are
worried about developing too slowly.
If your
child is not athletic, help her find a sport or physical activity she enjoys.
At this age, kids who don’t excel athletically are tempted to avoid all
physical activity. Consider martial arts such as kung fu, judo, karate, which
often appeal to this age group.
Mind set / Outlook for this age-group.
Sense of reality:
After
seven years of age child learns to understand opinion and importance of other
people. Child observes various objects. He now understands rules. Child
compares his parents, neighbors and forms his own opinion. He understands that by
elders; rules are often considered flexible and are interpreted as per the
necessity. He can now take small decisions of his own. After 12 years of age,
power to make logical guess increases and children take decision after thinking
by their own way.
Friendship and study (age 5 to 12 years)
Child
tends to increase his efforts on study and also develop suitable friends. Also
spends some time to prove his name and create his stamp in the peer group.
Interest in opposite sex (age 12 to 16 and onwards)
Attraction
of opposite sex
Thinks
and decides about means of livelihood in future, job, business, etc.
Forms
social attitude and opinion
Craze
for Good appearance and attractive look.
Emotions take verbal form:
During childhood, child understands that he has his own
set of feelings for the world around. He tries to identify these feelings and
put them in words. Mind has various kinds of emotions Such as anger, sorrow,
disgust, surprise, fear, acceptance, happiness, expectations, etc. It is
important to identify them exactly. Identifying our own and other people’s
feelings can make emotional intelligence and balance possible. This leads to
self-confidence and progress. During 8 to 10 years of age, child tries to create
faith and confidence in him, in others, in the situation and in the world he
lives. Education of emotions is important at this stage.
Life values:
During age 11 to 14, it is important to introduce child with values and
emphasize their importance in his mind. Each individual is an independent
personality but he is also a part of community (Family, Society). A broadminded
attitude that is necessary to become successful as individual as well as a
member of community requires particular kind of character building. Period of 8
to 14 years of age is the best time for such efforts. Sanskars (nurturing) that
intentionally inculcate compassion, sympathy, service, gratitude and a little
tolerance and forgiveness can develop correct mindset. Responsibility of teachers
and parents play a major role in this regard.
 |
| Worries, Fears. |
Importance of efforts:
Fear, doubt and superstitions limit the development in
children. They hinder child’s effort to bring his dreams into reality. This
stage is important for learning and teaching the skill of controlling these
emotions while dealing with such situations. Guidance on this stage is
important to imprint importance of setting high goals to be successful in the
world of increasing competition. Also children should be taught importance of
concentrating on honest efforts and persistence rather than to concentrate only
on results and achievement of these efforts. (कर्मण्ये वाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन = भगवत गीता)
These
years are important for children to develop social & emotional awareness to
bring their dreams into reality and strengthen the foundation of their
character.
How to Help Your Child Develop Empathy
Want a
child who really, truly cares about others? Follow this advice on raising
compassionate children.
Empathy
-- the ability to understand and be sensitive to other people's feelings --
helps us to be more deeply attached to our family, friends, and even strangers.
You can
make a more conscious effort to promote empathy-boosting experiences for your
children. Consider these 11 things you can do to raise a truly caring child.
Show
Empathy to Others.
Write
Genuine Thank-You Notes.
Be
Consistent
Boost
Her "Feelings Vocabulary".
Praise
Each Other Daily
Recognize
Kindness.
But
Don't Overdo It
Address
Your Child's Needs.
Promote
Emotional Literacy.
Volunteer
Celebrate
Difference.
For
details:
https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/5-how-to-help-your-child-develop-empathy.
Understanding
concept of mind, nature and tendency and directing the efforts by the elders
for nurturing child properly are crucial at this stage. This is useful to create positive change in
life at proper time. If a person can maintain a balance between success and
failure, adverse and favorable conditions and develop tendency to think about
welfare of community along with own welfare, then the future life journey would
proceed on a balanced track. A child with a mind set-up of maintaining balance
with the help of ‘ups and downs’ of daily life and looking at everything as
opportunity; will make himself and others happy.
Sanskar
efforts (nurturing efforts) on these lines will help setup strong foundation of
life. But we should also keep in mind that presence and ill effects of adverse
and bad things prevailing in the society or surroundings in the vicinity might
threaten to ruin the life in future. Parents, teachers, society, media (TV,
Internet etc.), who have direct/indirect role in these efforts should be well
aware of various desirable and undesirable things those affect our children.
The policy makers have to take due cognition of this fact to create conducive
environment for the up-coming generations.
In the next article let’s discuss how to take care in this regard.
No comments:
Post a Comment